The Book Barn

Somewhere, in the wilds of the world, there is a magical hidden place called...The Book Barn.  Few have heard of its majesty but those who make their pilgrimage come back forever changed.  And poorer.  But with more books than they had before.  So you know, it's all good.

And what's even better, is that this place of astonishment is having a sale!  30% off!  And when I tell you their regular prices, your jaws will spontaneously drop so low, people in China will wonder what's with all the extra jaws.  Or they'll run around screaming as ground erupts under their feet as inexplicable human jaws shoot towards them.  Seriously, what would you do if that happened?

But back to regular prices: paperback books $1.  Most hardcover or larger paperbacks $4.  They're all used, of course, but some more gently than others and it's possible to buy books that have barely had their cover's opened.  And the place is ginormous: their main site has several buildings that each house a different section of books, but that's not all--they had to expand to several other stores nearby because they had too many books!

I usually try to set myself a price limit when I go there, just because it would be terrifyingly easy to spend all of my money there.  But today, there's a sale!  It'll be even easier to spend all my money!  Yay!

So excited so excited so excited....

Books books books books books....

Drat.  I need more bookshelves.  :)

Monday Musings: What Did You Say?

Children are to be seen and not heard.  If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.  Silence is the chef’s best compliment.

We have a lot of quotes about not saying things, and usually they’re pretty positive.  (aside from the one about children).  There are many quotes in multiple languages about how not speaking is always preferable to speaking too much; how one will appear wise if they don’t say anything; and how talking too much always leads to bad places.

Correspondingly, we have far fewer sayings about how we should all talk more.  There seems to be a general consensus that talking leads to mistakes; and that’s pretty accurate.  You can never unsay what you just said.  There is no rewind or backspace button to life.  Once something is said it’s out there in the world and nothing can ever take it back.  This fear makes people say less than they mean a lot of the time because you can’t regret what you don’t say. 

Which is a completely false statement, by the way. 

There is this strange competition between communication and silence.  While it seems far easier to regret what is said, it is just as easy to regret something that was never said.  So as with most things in life, it requires a balance.  When do we speak, and when do we remain silent?

There are many good reasons not to say things, especially in a friendship.  Part of being a good friend is knowing what not to say around your friend.  Good friends know where all the hurting spots are, and while they might poke fun around some of them, they know better than to stick a knife right in one and twist it around. 

That’s one reason I tread very carefully around new people, because everyone has bad spots, and I’d rather not hurt anyone, even accidentally.  But trying not to step in a new person’s bad spots is rather like trying to find your way through a marsh blindfolded.  Sooner or later you are going to fall flat on your face in a scum puddle.  Guaranteed. 

But there are other reasons to remain silent about things.  Sometimes it’s important to remain silent so as not to hurt someone or embarrass yourself.  I’m talking about the ‘as long as I don’t say it, it isn’t true’ phenomenon.  We’ve all experienced it, on one side or the other.  Say that person A likes person B, but person B doesn’t like person A, and knows that A really likes them.  Depending on who they are, A might realize that B doesn’t like them, but they just can’t help how they feel.  Now B has two choices.  Either they bring it up in an awkward and painful conversation, or they allow an unspoken pact to occur: whatever A and B think they know about the other, nothing is true unless it is spoken of.  So A can keep their pride and self-esteem and B doesn’t have to break their heart and the situation can subside as gracefully as possible. 

Admittedly, this is sometimes just a ruse where B doesn’t have the chutzpah to let A down and pretends that the unspoken pact is there, but we’re not talking about that right now.  The A and B situation isn’t just about liking someone.  It can occur with friends and coworkers who are willing to pretend that something embarrassing didn’t happen, or sometimes even that it did.  Because what the unspoken pact is really about is saving a bit of face, or pride or self esteem, and that’s not a bad thing all the time.  Denial of reality is a bad thing, true, and a good friend shouldn’t take part in that.  But there are so many little situations in life that are easier to endure when everyone is willing to pretend they don’t exist.  (Like the Matrix sequels.  It’s a pity they never made any).

On the other hand, sometimes it is utterly vital to speak about what you feel because if it never gets said, everyone can just keep pretending it doesn’t exist.  Or correspondingly feel insecure in their position because they don’t know where they stand.  Imagine what it would be like if no one said how they really felt.  You’d never know if anyone truly loved you and you’d be stuck in a cold cage all alone all the time because you could never be sure if the people you were with cared about you at all or thought you had any worth.

(and no, life is not all about seeking self-worth from other people’s opinions, but in reality, we are social creatures who do need the affirmation of our peers, and life can be almost unlivable if we don’t get it)

Which brings me to the perhaps random but in fact very connected topic of marriage.  Marriage vows, to be precise.

A lot of people are against marriage.  They say it’s unnecessary, outdated, ridiculous, and barbaric.  As if standing up in front of a bunch of people is going to make a relationship any more valid than it was before.

But what is getting married, really?  Nowadays you mention a marriage and if you live in America and many European countries, white dresses are going to spring to mind, along with churches and lots of guests and a huge wedding cake and a lot of gifts.  But if you pare all that down to the essentials, you get vows spoken in front of witnesses and a senior member of a religion.  And if you pare that down even further you get two people making promises to each other in front of people who are important to them and who will hopefully help them keep those promises.

Because things aren’t true until they’re said aloud, and a marriage ceremony is all about making sure that certain things are said before two people commit to each other.  Most of us can recite at least half the standard wedding vows we see on tv and in movies, but what if we were to take those vows out of the context of a wedding and put them in the mouths of two people who are trying to hold a relationship together long term.

A: I love you.

B: I love you too.

A: I want to stay with you forever.

B: It won’t be easy.

A: Are you kidding?  I’ll probably hate you sometimes.

B: I’ll probably throw things at you.

A: I might get fat and unattractive.

B: I could too.  I don’t really like exercising.

A: Bo-ring. 

B: So true.  But you said that one reason you loved me was because I’m beautiful.

A: I do. 

B: So what’ll happen when I get old and I’m less beautiful?

A: It won’t matter.

B: How can you be sure?

A: Because I love you—not just the way you look—although that’s a plus, I admit.

B: Hot stuff.

A: Smokin’.  But it’s true that when we get old, we’ll get wrinkles.

B: We’ll sag in currently attractive places.

A: We’ll smell funny.

B: We’ll lose our teeth.

A: But you’ll still be you.  And I’ll still be me.  Well, me without teeth.

B: Ha.  But you’ll still be smokin’.

A: So will you.  Life’s a long time though, and there’s a lot of bad things that could happen on the way.  One of us could get really sick.  I’m talking terminal but lingering illness sort of sick.  I’d understand if you wouldn’t want to stick around if that—

B: What, am I supposed to be some fair weather friend?  Someone who only sticks around when times are good?  If you really want me forever, that’s what you gonna get.  Forever.

A: What if I get rich and snobby?

B: If we get rich I bet I’ll be snobbier than you.

A: The economy is really bad.  My company is making cuts.  I could lose my job in a heartbeat. 

B: So could I.

A: I might not be able to support you.

B: I’ll support you.  And if I can’t, we’ll get jobs working at McDonald’s together.

A: Together.

B: Forever.  No matter what it takes.

A: No matter how hard it’s going to be.

B: No matter how we change as the years go by.

A: No matter the terrible mistakes we’ll make sometimes.

B: We’ll work it out.

A: We’ll never give up on each other.

B: I love you.

A: I love you too.

And if you think that a talk like this in a serious relationship isn’t necessary?  You’re on dangerous ground that’s going to give out under your feet and then you’ll be lying on your back breathless wondering what just happened. 

Because some things need to be said aloud.  They need to be acknowledged and understood because if something isn’t said, how are we supposed to know if it’s real?

America, America--

During the 90's there was a strange phenomenon in action movies: patriotism.

No, really. 

During almost every action movie created during the 90's there was stirring trumpet music (always associated with martial themes/patriotism) waving American flags and patriotic heroes who are trying to uphold the American dream of freedom and liberty and life.  (as in, keeping other people alive so they can appreciate America just a bit longer)

Which is a bit odd since the 90's weren't a very patriotic time.  It was a time of disillusionment and paranoia about the government: for example, the X-Files were ridiculously popular during the 90's, and that was all about government conspiracies and mistrusting the official story. 

It wasn't until September 11, 2001 that America experienced an upsurge in patriotism again, so what was with all the patriotism in the 90's?

I have no idea.  But here's a list of 90's action movies just in case you're curious enough to test this theory.

Mission Impossible
Speed
Goldeneye
The Rock
Terminator 2
Con-Air
The Fugitive
Jurassic Park
Die Hard 2 and 3
Armageddon
Saving Private Ryan
Air Force One

Aren't we a great country?

Can we skip ahead five years?

There's a point I'd like to make.  I'm not sure which one it is, but it's really important that I say it.  This world is full of holes that are so easy to disappear into.  We've all disappeared into the economic crisis hole.  Some of us are stuck there because we have no jobs and aren't likely to any time soon.  Some of us have jobs we hate but we're stuck with them because there are no other options.  And some of us have jobs we love that we can only keep if everyone around us disappears down the hole first. 

But that's only one type of hole.

There's the relationship hole.
There's the self-image hole.
There's the status hole.
There's the death of dreams hole.
And there's also the 'I'm just so worn out I will crawl into my hole and stay there voluntarily' hole.

And you can be stuck in more than one hole at once. 

How do we climb out of our holes?  Because it's not as easy as having more confidence in ourselves, or just trying harder.  Sometimes it seems the only way to get out of our holes is to compromise with what we know of ourselves.  Maybe all it'll take to get out of our holes is to settle.  Settle for what?  Doesn't matter.  Just settle--that's all we have to do. 

But settling--that's a hole too.  And once you've settled, what's going to get you out of that hole? 


And to those of you who aren't stuck in any hole right now, I think I speak for all of us when I say--good for you.  May you remain that way as long as possible. 

Poem

I am the uncomfortable middle
The child's dream
The in between riddle pull-pushing myself
In the breaks between wishes
Into clothes too large--
A gift to grow in to, no need to repay
They say

Forgetting the implications
I'm swinging my arms, my legs
Wide, wide, wide,
Constricted in everything but time

Wednesday Word: Ravishing

Now, some of my friends reading this blog might remember my association with this word, and right now they're wincing and saying, 'no not again!'

~They have a point.

But for the rest of you out there, I think we would all benefit from more closely examining the word Ravishing so that the next time you use it you fully understand what you're saying. 

Ravishing--to ravish.  An old term meaning to 'have your way' with someone.  Or more modernly, to rape them.  (it also sounds like 'radish.'  hee)  So ravish used to be used  in sentences like

'He's going to ravish her.'
'She's been ravished by pirates.'
'She's in for a good ravishing.'

But the meaning of the word Ravishing has shifted slightly from those bygone days of complex language.  Now we use it in slightly different sentences like

'She looks really ravishing.'
'Those boots are just ravishing.'

What we mean when we use Ravishing is far more positive than the original meaning.  We mean sexy, or good looking, or fantastic.  But when you get down to it, there's still a bit of the original meaning in the word.  So be aware when next time you're using it, what you're actually saying is

'She looks like a happy visual rape.'

Your eyeballs just got raped by beauty.


(and funny story, I actually said this once to a friend.  It kinda just popped out.  She was wearing a red dress and looked really good, so I said she was Ravishing.  Kind of like a happy visual rape.  For some reason she's still my friend.  Love ya)

Is there a Doctor in the house?

I was driving down the highway today when a funny thing happened.  Or if you prefer, it was quite a normal thing that happened.  The people in front of me started slowing down for no good reason (why do they always do that?!) and my usual impulse is to start pounding the steering wheel shouting ‘must go faster, must go faster!’  But this time something new happened.  I discovered that there was a Dalek in my driver’s seat.

‘ACCELERATE!!  ACCELERATE!!!  ACCELLERAAAATE!!!!!’

Why are Daleks always screaming?  Perhaps they have permanent road rage.

Monday Musing: Biological Imperative

It is one of the great strangenesses of humanity that we both crave what is new and different—yet at the same time refuse to acknowledge change because we’re very comfortable as we are, thank you.

Where’s the switch?  How can we exist in such a state of controversy?

To that end, I give you the Biological Imperative.  (clap clap clap clap)

I take you back now to the dawn of time.  Whether we just crawled out of a slime pit or God just placed two people in a Garden, or we were created from trees (by the way, Norse mythology has the coolest Armageddon ever.  Ragnarok Rules!—now I want a t-shirt), you can choose.  (It matters not what your views are on Macro-evolution, but micro-evolution is a documented fact.  Feel free to look up the difference).

So there are all these people running around on Earth and in order to survive they’ve got to have two things (technically three, but we’ll get to that): food and shelter.  Shelter will probably occur near a large deposit of foodstuffs, and it is easier to determine what makes a good shelter.  Does it keep out the elements?  Check.  Does it in some way protect me from creatures and other people?  Check.  Is it in a place that is unstable or will kill me?  Hopefully not Check.  So you see, shelter’s not so hard, and even to people of lower ‘intelligence’ like our ancestors possibly were, it wasn’t hard to figure out.

But food—there’s the problem.  How did they know what was good to eat?  Some people posit that by watching animals you can figure out what’s good to eat.  Not always true, as it turns out, since some animals can eat everything, and we can’t.  So what it really comes down to is trial and error.  And most errors ended in touching eulogies.  Possibly. 

This is where the Biological Imperative starts to come in.  I ask you this: if curiosity is a trait that is bred into your DNA, how long do you think it will take for all the curious people to die off because they don’t know how not to shove everything in their mouths?  It’s quite possible that some people back then were so curious they’d put our best minds to shame.  Although their curiosity likely put them to death because of their lack of common sense.  So if all the curious people are dying off, they’re likely dying off young, and therefore have no time to procreate and pass their fatal trait onto the next generation.

(and this kind of comes around to that third necessary thing for survival: members of the opposite sex.  Because in order so you all don’t die off before you find what’s good to eat, you’ve got to have progeny to keep going after you’re dead.  But the basic man/woman ratio isn’t usually that hard to keep going, so this is only sort of ‘necessary’)

And it would probably only take a few generations for the curiosity DNA to get severely pruned back in a family tree.  But the legacy of this harsh weeding out is that we are genetically predisposed to be wary of new things.  It was the thing you didn’t know that would most likely kill you.  New plant?  It’ll probably kill you.  New animal?  It’ll definitely kill you.  New person you haven’t met?  He’ll steal your food, rape your wife, and also kill you.  Only the cautious survived.

So it wasn’t the curious ones who were breeding, it was all the cautious ones who hung back and let their stupid brother try that berry first.  So now we’ve got two traits that are essential for survival: caution, and the ability to manipulate the actions of others.  This doesn’t mean that curiosity was wiped out, by any means.  Every invention we have is proof of that.  But these two traits are responsible for why every single one of us on this Earth will choose to travel the road they already know to get to that place—or why someone will only eat the same food they ate growing up—or why they’ll never listen to a different form of music—or even why so many people never travel or move away from their home town.  The human animal is most comfortable amongst that which is known—that which is safe. 

But we’re thousands of years away from the time when what was different could kill you.  Why aren’t we any different?

Well we are.  Sort of.

Curiosity is no longer a shunned trait.  We revel in our inventors (when they’re not in middle school.  They’re such geeks) we create new works of fiction by the hundreds, we change our fashions weekly, we are all about the new experiences. 

But what about the hikers who go into the woods completely unprepared because ‘they’ll be all right.’  Or the ones who provoke an animal because they don’t know any better.  Or hey look, there’s a cave.  Lets see what’s inside.  There are plenty of ways for our natural curiosity and lack of common sense to kill us, even now. 

All this is to say, there is nothing wrong with our biological imperative to be afraid of what is new and different.  That’s the little thing keeping us alive sometimes.  But there’s also nothing wrong in overriding it and telling it to be quiet when we want to do something we haven’t ever.  We’re human, which means both that we’re large bundles of chemical interpretations of instincts, but also that we have intelligent minds that can overrule what our bodies tell us.  We are the dichotomy of fear and curiosity, the juxtaposition between the new and the different.  We are curious cowards and reluctant explorers.  We are the uncomfortable middle.  We are human.  No more no less.

Also, I'd like to wish Richard Dean Anderson a Happy Birthday!  We love you MacGyver!

L is for the way you look to me

I defy anyone to finish the lyrics to that song without looking it up.  Personally, I can get as far as V, and then my mind breaks down around the E.

L is for the way you look to me
O 'cause you're the only one, I see
V is very very extraordiary
E you're everything I mumble mumble something mumble

And I'm sure there's at least one of you who's going to argue with my version of those lyrics. 

And the funny thing is, it's a classic song!  I swear its been in nearly every romantic movie since the song was first sung (1965 Nat King Cole thank you wikipedia).  But who (other than lounge singers) actually know all the words to it?  Rhetorical question do not feel the need to answer it.

And because I feel like making a random connection to something else, lets talk about a tv show that's all about love!

Sort of.

I recently started watching How I Met Your Mother on Netflix, and booyah, am I having a good time!  I will freely admit I only watched the first episode for Neil Patrick Harris.  (Doctor Horrible!)  I then watched the second episode for Neil Patrick Harris and Alyson Hannigan (Willow!) and because it made me laugh.  I have since watched the first two seasons.  But mostly for NPH.  And funny.  (Swarley!)  I'm not much of a sitcom person, I've never enjoyed shows that are all about people in relationships and out of relationships trying to have sex, but this is genuinely enjoyable because of the chemistry between all the cast.  You genuinely believe that they're all good friends and you really want to see what crazy/normal thing they're doing this week.  But mostly you watch it for Barney (NPH) and to see what terrible pickup lines he uses this time. 

I mean, his character is a horrible despicable person I'd love to slap if I ever met him in real life.  But the way NPH plays it is hard to describe.  You totally believe the character is awful and horrible, and yet you still like watching him because you know it isn't true.  Deft balancing act, there. 

And have I mentioned all the Joss grads?  (Well, I mentioned two of them).  So far I've seen:

Neil Patrick Harris (Doctor Horrible)
Alyson Hannigan (Buffy)
Alexis Denisof (Buffy and Angel and soon-to-be Much Ado About Nothing)
Morena Baccarin (Firefly)
Amy Acker (Angel and Dollhouse and soon to be Much Ado About Nothing)

And lots of other random people I recognized from other places.  But so many Joss grads!

Yep.  So in conclusion, laughing is good for you.  Now go and watch something funny.  :)

Friday Free-write: Something to Come Home To.

Far far away under golden trees and auburn skies, there lived a small family.  They sang to the dawn each morning to tell it hello, we're glad to see you again.  The dawn was glad to see them too.  It never liked being far away but it only got to spend a small time with the family.  After dawn was day and dusk and night, and only then did dawn come around again just in time to hear singing as it came up over the horizon.  It wasn't much, but it made him soar.

Today I give you a song.

It's rather pretty.  And I love it.  And I can listen to nothing else but this song for hours on end. 

In fact, this song restored my faith in Jazz.  (Modern Jazz, that is.  I never lost my faith in big band swing jazz)

So pretty...

Internet Blackout

So some of you might or might not know this, but today is an Internet Blackout day.  Major Websites like Google and Wikipedia are either boycotting the Internet or blacking out their logos today because of something called SOPA, the Stop Online Piracy Act.  So what's wrong with this picture?  Sounds like a good Act, doesn't it? 

Well the Devil is in the details as they say, and these details are sure to make you cringe.  Click Here for a short explanation of SOPA, Here for a longer and very technical version, and Here for an interesting video that explains so much about our country.

I don't blame Hollywood for trying to make sure their property isn't pirated.  I don't blame anyone for wanting to receive the money they are due for their intellectual property.  But this Act is just plain wrong on so many levels because it is the first step on a slippery slope that ends in the complete revocation of our American rights.  Free speech?  Not a problem for the government anymore.  They can just shut down the entire internet whenever it irritates them.  (slight exaggeration.  sort of). 

This Act is dangerous in the precedent it would set if it is passed.  Please do the research yourself and decide for yourself whether or not you want to live in an America where this is possible.

Best of luck to us all.

It's finally snowing!

You know, I didn't think it would even snow this winter.  I mean, it's been three months since our last freak snowstorm in october and it's the middle of January and all--so where was our snow? 

Somewhere else, obviously. 

Also, I had an inside track to know how bad this winter was going to be, and lots of snow was not forecast.  And I remember winters with hardly any snow, and after last year, was I going to complain?  Nope.  Shoveling snow is evil.  Evil I tell you.  Especially when you're doing it every three days.  And your snow piles have turned into snow mountains.  And you just can't fling it up any higher so you don't really have a path any more b/c all the snow avalanched down off your snow mountains. 

Anyone else have a winter like that last year?

So when our oak tree told us that this winter would be a light one, I was relieved.

And yes, you heard me right: our oak tree told us.  No I am not crazy.

~Liar.
Don't you start with me right now.

As I said, not crazy, just clever.  :)  Because every year our oak tree drops a proportionate amount of acorns to how hard a winter we're going to have.  Big evil snow winter?  We have to sweep the acorns off the lawn and wear helmets out our front door to keep from getting brained.

--You didn't.
I didn't what?
--Wear a helmet. 
I was speaking metaphorically, it's supposed to be funny. 
--But you didn't.
Sigh.  I'm speaking to the wrong one, aren't I?
~'snicker.'  Yup.  Helmet--funny--check.  Though what you did do was even funnier.
It worked.
~Delusional.
Two years it's worked.
~Do you know what she did?
!Acorns!  I love acorns!
Acorn whistles are the best.
!I know!
~Back to you being so embarrassingly odd--
Fine.  But I command you not to say anything.
~That only works on Mr. Logical.  Anyway, what she did was this: at the start of acorn dropping season, she had a talk with the tree. 
Do we have to do this?
~She stood in the yard and told it not to drop any acorns on her head or else she would get really mad.  But if it didn't, they were all right.
So?
~You stood in your yard and talked to your oak tree.  I believe you were saying you weren't crazy...?
It worked, didn't it?  Two years, and that tree hasn't dropped a single acorn on my head.
--Odds.
What?
--It's just the odds. Big tree, big yard, you're only walking to and from your car in a short span of time, so the odds were in your favor.
Raindrops hit me all the time from that tree.  Big drippy ones that go splat.
!Splat!
Exactly.
--If we were to do the math on the amount of acorns dropping from a tree on an average year vs. the amount of rain in an average storm--
Number one, not an average year for acorns last year.  Number two, be quiet.
--...
~So she stood out in the yard and--
I think we're done here.
!I like the oak tree!  It got hit by lightning and is still alive! 
Sigh.

Back to the oak tree being smarter than weathermen--this year we hardly had any acorns drop.  And when I mean hardly any, I mean we saw one or two on the yard and heard stories about tree scientists getting worried about why all the trees weren't dropping acorns this year, and if it meant something was horribly horribly wrong with the ecosystem.  I am happy to tell the tree-scientists that there is nothing wrong with the oak tree population.  They're just smarter than we are and don't see the point of seeding out too much if the winter is mild.

And when I say mild I mean still cold but without all the evil amounts of snow.  'Cause it's January already and this is our first snow of winter.  (October doesn't count).  Here's hoping February is correspondingly nice.  (I hate February).

And happy birthday James Earl Jones!  You're 81!  Please don't die on us.  What would the world be like without Darth Vader?

Monday Musing: All Art is a Lie Told to Show the Truth

             Most people find it hard to understand why fantasy is my favorite genre.  ‘It’s too unbelievable,’ they say.  ‘It’s so formulaic.  It’ll never help you later in life.’ 

I have to both agree and disagree with these statements.  Fantasy is a very formulaic genre, but really, what genre isn’t?  Mine just has more fantastical trimmings—which does prove them right when they say it’s unbelievable.  But what I refuse to agree with is when they say reading fantasy will never help me in the real world. 

            Fantasy shows you something worth striving for, something to dream about.  No, I will never practice any form of magic: that isn’t possible or real.  But when I am reading I am more than just myself, more than my boring collection of memories.  This is why most people would label reading as escapism.  They do have a point, because sometimes it is fun to just forget about reality and go slay dragons and save the world. 

But here’s the clincher.  When you read you become the hero and their actions become yours.  By becoming a hero so often while reading a book, you start to believe that you have those qualities inside you.  When you pretend something often enough it has a chance to become real, and soon your pretended qualities of bravery, courage, honor, and assuredness might work their way into your ‘real’ personality.  

            So why are readers of fantasy derided?  Why are we told that our genre is unbelievable and worthless, that real life stories are far more worthy and—above all—realistic and better able to inspire?  A reader of biographies will always be superior to a reader of fantasy.  A watcher of documentaries will always be superior to the watcher of action movies.  And yet—just what is it they’re feeling superior about?

I will give you an example: there was a book recently published called ‘Three Cups of Tea.’  You might be aware that there is now a controversy surrounding the author of this book and the book itself.  It is being said that he lied about his experiences and lied about donating all the money he received to actually building schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan.  The book and the man and his mission are now derided as fakes—people feel betrayed for trusting in him and now they’re doing their best to tear him down.

This is fascinating, is it not?  Here was a ‘true story,’ that turned out to be not so true.  But what of its original effect?  When the book came out people were inspired.  They wanted to donate to building schools for girls in Pakistan and Afghanistan.  They wanted to do it because of the story of a man who lived through hardships and came out the stronger; the story of a man who battled injustice and anonymity to make a difference in the world.  They wanted to become better people because a story showed them how they could.

But then the story was revealed to be only partially true.  What does this mean?  Does it mean that a fake story has just as much ability to inspire as a true one?  That lies can equally motivate someone to good deeds as truth?  That the impact of fiction—if it is believed in—has the same impact as non-fiction that is believed in?

Because at that point it all comes down to the power of belief, not the veracity of the story.  So I ask again: just what is it that other people find to feel so superior about when their ‘true stories’ are revealed to be just as accurate as our ‘false stories?’

            I do not mean to say that all people are this way.  I do not mean to vilify readers of biographies and watchers of documentaries.  What I wish to do is expose a prejudice that very much exists and shouldn’t.  When it comes to personal tastes and enjoyments there is no ‘better than,’ there is only ‘instead of.’  You like reading 20^th century poetry because it inspires you?  Good for you.  You prefer James Joyce to Robert Jordan?  Fine with me.  I would far rather read Piers Anthony than Charles Dickens (sorry Dickens, I know you’re a classic, but I can’t stand you).  Some people love Shakespeare.  Others love Tom Clancy.  What does it all mean?

            It means that as members of the human race, we don’t feel good about ourselves unless we’re better than someone else. 

Wait, isn’t that the description of a bully?  Someone who belittles or hurts someone else in order to feel a sense of self-worth? 

Then I don’t think it inaccurate to say that we are a race of bullies, a race of people who are so insecure about what we like—about what we think we should like—that we feel the need to make everyone around us just like us because it feels safer and we feel a sense of validity about who we are as people.

            What is your favorite genre?  Is it Historical, Drama, Fantasy, Biography, Classics, Mystery, etc?  Or do you not like to read at all but prefer to watch the news and follow politics?  Or do you hate politics but watch indie/art house movies?  Or do you think that a movie isn’t good unless it has explosions and gore in it? 

Keeping all this in mind, I would like to tell you something important:

It doesn’t matter.

I will repeat: It doesn’t matter.

Life is not about being ‘better than.’  Personal tastes are not an indication of self-worth.  We are all different, and yet we are all still the same.  We are all afraid of many things, we are cowardly, we are weak, and we are selfish.  But when we hear and read of others who have transcended their mundane qualities, we are driven to emulate them.  We want to be like them, and their lives show us how.  We all wish to be inspired, but we all search for inspiration in different places.  It is never bad to believe in honor, courage, and causes that are worth living and dying for—no matter how we hear about them.  Just because something doesn’t exist doesn’t mean we can’t learn from it, and just because something may or may not be true does not mean we can’t believe in it. 

I would like to include a quote from Secondhand Lions, a truly great movie.  For those of you who haven’t seen it, this scene is very important.  Throughout the movie a young boy has been told fantastic stories of his great uncles’ adventures.  He loves the stories but he has been lied to all his life and he needs to know if the stories are true or not—whether or not he should believe in them.  Uncle Hub tells him this:

‘Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things a man needs to believe in the most. That people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; and I want you to remember this, that love... true love never dies. You remember that, boy. You remember that. Doesn't matter if it's true or not. You see, a man should believe in those things, because those are the things worth believing in.’

I will admit that this used to be a hard concept for me to grasp when I was younger.  True was true—how could something not true be true?  How could lies be true? 

Now my older self can counter that by saying: because sometimes it isn’t the words that are important, but the message behind them and how it makes you feel.  There are so many lies in this world, but what truly matters isn’t whether or not you believe in them, but how they make you act. 

How are you going to act?

For Future to Recommend Fun--ah, you get the idea

Today's topic of discussion: Sanctuary.

The tv show, not the word or the concept.  Although technically those are part of it too--getting ahead of myself.  Right.

A world like our own where monsters exist (some peaceful, some not) and where a place called The Sanctuary attempts to protect us from them, and them from us.

Good enough concept, but to add a hook for the really geeky ones out there, the main star of the show is Amanda Tapping.  Yup.  And she's plays a British lady who's over 100 years old.  Hee.

Not to mention there is Jack the Ripper, Sasquatch, Sherlock Holmes, Jekyll and Hyde, Nikola Tesla and so many other fun fun fun things.  Including steampunk.

My official recommendation for those of you who enjoy sci-fi/fantasy and have time on your hands: go find and watch.  Now. 

~Bit harsh, isn't it?  'You must do this now!'
--She didn't say it like that.
~Might as well have.
>It's highly likely that her commanding tone will cause everyone who reads it to feel exactly the opposite of the way she wants.  ie, not wanting to watch Sanctuary at all.  She should change it, or no one will watch it and even if they do they'll all hate it---
!Sanctuary!
~Oh save us...
!Sanctuary!
--You've said it twice already.  No need to say it again.
!But!
~Sanctuary!  (snicker)
--I would like to disown you.

Once Upon a Time...

There was an evil witch-Queen who had an entire land under her dominion.  You can imagine that her dominion was quite large.  Every day she committed exceedingly evil acts against her subjects until they grew so tired of it that they hired a dragon to eat her.

The dragon ate her, but it got indigestion, which was rather unfortunate since now it couldn't fly away and the subjects had to take care of it until it got better.  Only the dragon never got better which is about what you should expect when you eat an evil witch-Queen.  She's not the sort to sit quietly anywhere, especially not in your digestive tract.

So the dragon decided to go on a quest to quiet his fractious innards, only where to start?  And if he couldn't fly, how was he to get there?  Walking, was the general consensus, but the dragon had an idea: what if he swam instead?  That would be much faster and much easier.  So he dragged himself over to the river (unintentionally squashing several trees and goats) and jumped in. 

After several days, the water level was finally back to where it was supposed to be, and the dragon began to float downstream.  It was very pleasant at first but soon the dragon realized that it was very boring.  But before he could haul himself over a bank to get out of the river, his stomach twanged.   Then it twanged again and he was filled with more agony than he had ever felt before.  He also passed out.  When he awoke, it was to find with some confusion that he had turned into a lima bean.

Well, what do you expect when you swallow an evil witch-Queen?

Today you get a poem

Because I was super busy this morning and couldn't write anything so I'm sorry.  

And happy birthday Jon Lasseter!  Yay Pixar!  Pixar Forever!  (I think 'Pixar' would make a great battle cry.  I mean, it's got that special something that makes it easy to yell at the top of your lungs, and it's even intimidating because it ends on 'arrrrr!!'  and if someone is running toward you with pointy weapons while shouting something you can't quite hear but ends in 'aaarrrrr!!!' you're going to be pretty freaked.  Just saying.  Oh, right, back to poem)

Big Top

Formed in a freefall moment of inattention
The wire-walker desired a change to occur
Spontaneously
Heart-spiked in dramatic tension
Like he used to feel under his toes,
A flexing farce for children
Who cannot know how safe
This is
This act of all pretend to gasp
While the wire-walker
Transporting immortality to earth
Cannot keep a quotient for himself
How fair how fair how fair fair fair
The fairy tales that no one wrote but should have read to us
Explaining why a high dive is inappropriate behavior in the circus. 

Wednesday Word: Kerfuffle

I'd like to start off our Wednesday Word with Kerfuffle.

And yes, it is a word.  (I had to check, I was so astonished)

The amazing thing about Kerfuffle is that it is an onomatopoeic word that sounds like it's meaning.  Too complex?  Try this:

Say Kerfuffle.  Now say it again, a bit louder and a bit slower.  Ker-fuff-le.  Now say it really fast and notice how much like a slurred stumble it sounds like.  It even kind of sounds like 'stumble,' as it has the same vowel sounds.  Ker fuffle.  It's a real kerfuffle.

The dictionary defines the word as: a commotion or a disorder.  But you already figured that out because what does kerfuffle sound like?  A messed up situation.  With lots of lithping people.  All waving their hands in the air shouting 'oh, what a kerfuffle, whatever shall we do?'  And jumping up and down.  Because yeah, I can totally see that happening.  :)

(I mean no offense towards people with lisps.  Or as I prefer to call it, lithps.  I believe it was a heartless move on whoever created that word to include in it the consonant that you cannot say if you have that speech problem.  So out of solidarity I always lithp my lithp.  Because some things in life deserve to be more fair)

Ender's Game: the movie

Now, whenever I hear they're making one of my favorite books into a movie, I get skeptical.  (Except Hobbit.  Peter Jackson, you have a free pass) It's so easy to ruin a good book it's not even funny.  But there's something so magical about movies that we beg and pray for our favorite books to get the big screen treatment, even when we know deep down that we'll be looking at a wasted two hours of our life filled with lots of regret.

It was years ago when I first learned that Ender's Game was being considered for the big screen.  And I mean years.  So many years in fact, that people were still tossing Haley Joel Osment around as a possible lead.  (kind of glad that never went forward, sorry Haley).  If I had to put a number to it, it's probably been ten years at least--not unheard of in Hollywood circles and actually quite common for how long it takes a movie to really get going.

So what you need to be asking yourself is:
1. Where is my copy of Ender's Game so I can do a reread. 
2. Do I even want to bother?

That's a tough one, because just one member of this cast almost assures it instant geek-status:  Harrison Ford.

Yes, that's right, Harrison Ford himself is set to star as Colonel Graf (if you don't remember him, go do your reread, we'll wait), and even though I don't want to be, I'm already psyched!

!Harrison Ford!  Icon of my childhood!  Han Solo!  Indiana Jones!  Our nations most awesome president!
--Again with the exclamation points.
~You know, she has a point.  ('snicker.')

And the rest of the cast aren't something to sneeze at either.  (Imdb)  The kid set to play Ender is Asa Butterfield, whom I have unfortunately not seen in anything, but if reports are to believed, he's really good.  Now I need to go see Hugo.  (correction, I have seen him in something, I just don't remember his performance.  I was more focused on Sir Anthony Hopkins turning into a werewolf.  And yes, this means I actually watched The Wolfman.  Sad ending.)

But we've also got Abigail Breslin as Valentine, and Hailee Steinfeld as Petra!  I mean, come on!  Abigail Breslin has always been the cutest thing on two legs and now she's all grown up (sort of not really)  (just hope her transition to adult actor won't have as many drugs and car accidents as most) and she's really awesome!  And Hailee Stenfeld?  Did you see True Grit?!  That girl completely owned that movie and she deserved the lead actress oscar nom, not the supporting nom!  (is it bad that now I want a gold foil covered chocolate oscar statue that I can nom nom nom?)

And!  And!  We've got Ben Kingsley as Mazer Rackham.  Bit ironic, Ghandi gets to be the big bug killer.  Hee.

So if casting is anything to trust (not always true) we might have a hesitant 'it could be all right.'

>but we still don't know about the script, the director hasn't done anything all that good, the special effects will be terrible and there are so many ways to ruin a good cast.
~Oh look who's decided to join us.
>You know it's going to be bad.
~Who cares?  I'll see it anyway and laugh my head off.
!Harrison Ford is not to be laughed at!
~Did you even see Crystal Skull and the atomic refrigerator?
!Not listening!

Any thoughts?  Or conversely, what are your favorite movie adaptions of books?  And your least?

Monday Musings: Opinions, or What is Wrong with our Political System.

One of the great misconceptions of our time is that opinions are bad things.  Our culture has gone through so many radical changes that we now fear being different and opinionated in our politically correct culture.  We are raised on statements like: ‘what’s true for you may not be true for someone else,’ or, ‘there is no one right way.’

And if a politician dares to state a firm opinion: he'll lose votes!  The all powerful vote will be lost!  So he must lie lie and lie some more because if he actually told you what he actually believed and how he was actually going to act during office, we'd never ever let him in.  (and yes, I've been using the generic 'he.'  I know we've got women politicians, but it gets tiring to write he/she each time I need a pronoun)

So for politicians (and for many of the rest of us) what it all eventually comes down to is, ‘whatever you say or do will offend someone somewhere sometime, so say as little as possible in the quietest way.’  To this end we have become a nation of opinionated people professing to not have opinions.  We may not be able to hear ourselves think over the cacophony of voices screaming for our attention, but don't worry: our politicians only believe exactly what the largest number of us believe.  Ha. 

This is sheer nonsense.  This is the double talk of our modern age.  Everyone has opinions about life.  Everyone.  It is impossible not to have an opinion.  So when people start saying that they have no opinions about anything, I start looking for the lie.  Or the power cord to the automated politician robot. 

To live means to be able to make knowledgeable choices about the world around you, to choose between one thing and another, knowing the consequences.  So if someone isn't choosing, they're really not alive.  Hence the power cord.

 What we need to do is to stop being ashamed of opinions.  Everyone has them, and to pretend that you don’t is a lie.  Now that doesn’t mean that bludgeoning someone over the head with your opinion is a good idea: as with all things subtlety is needed.  But at least opinions are straightforward, plainly stating what they are. 

And that is what our culture needs most, a little certainty among the chaos.  We're tired of lies, of half-truths, of politicians that only say what they need to get into office.  We're so tired of having our opinions ignored as unimportant: except at voting time.  What we want is someone to actually represent us, to be opinionated on our behalf because we are an opinionated people, and it's time that was understood.

Rant rant rant rant--

Have you ever tried to say 'rant' five times fast? 

 We will pause while you inevitably now try.

Your throat just kind of constricts somewhere around the third or fourth 'rant,' and by the fifth you might as well be the Afflack duck. 

Just saying.

Once upon a time...

There was a duck.  A very happy duck.  It ducked around everything and therefore got a reputation of being a rather ducky dodger.  Despite this, it still enjoyed the finer things of life: mainly ducking.  And sometimes yodeling. 

So our yodeling duck sets out one day to find out what happened to his set of collectable marbles.  The duck had a hunch that his evil nemesis Meerkat Steffan had stolen his collectable marbles.  (I suppose Meerkat Steffan thought they were very collectable).  So the duck went out to beard Meerkat Steffan in his lair.  (the bearding required the used of a small shovel, some chloroform, a fake beard, and lots of glue).  Unfortunately, after bearding Meerkat Steffan, the duck still couldn't find his set of collectable marbles.  He then thought it best to make a quick escape before the chloroform wore off.

Wandering dejected around the fjords of Norway, the duck decided that the only thing to do would be to join the French foreign legion in order that he could travel the world and find out what happened to his set of collectable marbles. 

Ironically, it was only after he joined up that he realized he was carrying the marbles in his pocket.  Imagine his consternation...

I said imagine it!

Good.

So now our consternated duck had to form a plan to escape the French foreign legion without getting shot as a deserter.  (the commanding officer had a thing for duck a'lorange.  He also had a thing about the men nicking his desserts and then running off with them to eat in secret.  He was a very paranoid man)

Fortunately, the foreign legion were staying in the shadow of a great mountain topped with lots of snow, and this provided the perfect opportunity for our entrepreneurial duck.  He managed to get picket duty high on the slopes of the mountain (sadly he had to trade away three of his collectable marbles to do this) whereupon he began to yodel.  He yodeled high, he yodeled low, and he even yodeled in middle C.  But the mountain refused to drop its load of snow.  The other soldiers were starting to notice something off, however, and the duck knew he didn't have a lot of time. 

So he pulled out his weapon of last resort: the mating cry of the double nosed flat-footed Archip.  (a sound so powerful, so shiver-inducing, so horrifying, that the double nosed flat-footed Archips went completely deaf as a survival mechanism)

Plugging his own ears with the remainder of his marble collection, the duck let loose the mating cry.  The mountain shivered on its base, the soldiers cried out in horrified agony, and the snow on top of the mountain was so terrified that it sublimated straight into a gas.  Although the duck had been hoping for an avalanche, the copious amount of fog suited him just fine and he strolled away back home.  (only after finding his three marbles that he had bribed another soldier with and taking them back while the man was still in shock).

The end


This completely spontaneous story was brought to you by the Society for the Preservation of Archips.  

Happy Birthday Hiyao Miyazaki! (and Robert Duvall)

It’s a very simple fact that I am far more excited about wishing Miyazaki a happy birthday than I am about Robert Duvall.  Part of that has to do with the fact that I still cannot forgive Duvall for ‘The Apostle.’  Or rather, what I can’t forgive him for is being a great actor.  In The Apostle. 

Perhaps I should add to my list of people I can’t forgive for that movie the people who forced me to watch it in the first place.  ‘Shudder.’  But Duvall still makes my happy birthday list because he made Secondhand Lions. 

!Michael Caine!  And Robert Duvall!  And a nearly grown Haley Joel Osment!  And a lion!  And the What Every Boy Needs to Know About Being a Man speech!

--That is far too many exclamation points.

!What do you mean!  Exclamation points are fun!

~’snigger’

--Stop that.  Don’t encourage her.

~What, me?

But Miyazaki gets a completely unconditional Happy Birthday!  This is the man responsible for so many good/beautiful movies over the years that we owe him a great debt.  My personal favorite is Howl’sMoving Castle (the one instance I can recall where a movie is better than the book.  Sorry Diana Wynne Jones).  But I know many others who would swear that Spirited Away completely blows Howl out of the water.  And then there’s Princess Mononoke, Nausicaa, Totoro—and so many more! 

(by the way, if anyone could find me a bobblehead of one of the forest spirits from Mononoke, I would be forever grateful.  And poorer.  But gratefully poorer)

 (see, so cute!)

What’s your favorite Miyazaki?  And do you dare defend the status of The Apostle?  (I will allow you to defend Duvall).