A few Haikus

Yes, it is that time again.  I've amassed quite a lot of possum haikus--I keep forgetting to bring in my car notebook so they keep piling up.

Onward, for the cause!


Possum near my house
it seems you have strayed too near
my humble abode.


Nearly flat possum
you're lucky my brakes are good
or you would be dead.


Possum rank and vile--
the smell of your body as
it hits my tire.


Fast running possum,
Olympian of your breed;
I'd give you the gold.


So well-bred possum--
dainty foot held in the air.
A picture of poise.

The Bourne Legacy Review

Downsides to letting your brain talk back to you

'me going up into the spider infested attic to fetch something for parents'

I'm fine, I'm fine.  It's safe, I'm safe--

'other half of my brain refuses to stay silent'

Lies.  Bold faced lies.

'whimper.'

I pledge myself to the Zombie Brotherhood, and solemnly swear not to eat a fellow member...

There is just one thing that puzzles me about Zombie movies.

'Only one thing?  How can that be?  Is it that you don't believe in Zombies?'

Nope.

'Is it that you don't think its possible for a disease to spread that quickly?'

Nope.

'Do you not believe that the undead would be hungry for flesh?'

Nope.

'Then what is it??'

Why don't Zombies eat each other?  Or themselves?  I mean, if we've gone through all the trouble of putting on our Suspenders of Disbelief and watching a Zombie movie why can't the plot at least be consistent inside its own world?  All right, we've got the undead walking around starving for human flesh (I've never seen them chasing dogs or cats, have you?  Or hanging out in supermarkets eating all the raw meat) so for some reason they've turned cannibalistic, but for another strange reason they won't eat each other?  Why?  It's like a walking buffet.

'Shuffle shuffle' 'groan' oh look, that guy next to me seems tasty 'munch munch' 'shuffle shuffle' 'groan'

Are they supposed to be like bears?  Bears won't eat dead things, they like their food fresh that they killed themselves.

So how come when someone is bitten or gnawed on a bit as soon as they Zombify all the other Zombies lose interest in them and move on to new targets?  It's almost instantaneous.  I don't think a bear would be that casual about his food.  'You're dead now?  Good, I get to eat more of you.'

Just once I'd live to see a Zombie movie that treats them more like sharks.  Someone's dead?  Eat them!  Oh wait, I'm dead.  Eat me!  I'm tasty, mmmm.  He's dead too!  Eat him too!  Mmm, tasty dead person.  Flesh! Eat more flesh!

The movie might be shorter then.  All the Zombies wouldn't get very far after they'd eaten each other to bits.

Rejoice! Rejoice!

For Avengers 2 has been green-lit!

And in the wonderful wisdomly wiseness of Marvel they have given it to Joss Whedon again.  :)  :D

Rejoice!

And do not overly mourn the long long long wait we will have to wait.  (2015!)  It will be good, and worth the wait.



Joss also seems to be signed on with Marvel to do something with a tv show.  How intriguing.  Hopefully more news will be forthcoming.



(and on another side note) I just learned that Tom Hardy (Bane, in the new Batman, and a whole host of other well-played roles) is doing a reboot of Mad Max.  Mel Gibson doing crazy was always a favorite of mine, and imagining Tom Hardy doing Mel Gibson-y crazy (or even a new sort of crazy) is a delicious thought.  This has potential.  :)

I feel like smiling, don't you?

Perhaps this will make you smile.

Or maybe you're of a more literary persuasion when it comes to humor:

Or maybe you enjoy science jokes:

Or maybe you just wish that you were having a good time like these people:

I hope at least one of these things made you smile.

If they did not I must conclude that you have no sense of humor.  Sorry.

Listen up, all you folks on the road!

(50’s radio announcer voice)  

A service announcement for all of you out on the road today: today is Bad Driving Day!  Ways of celebrating Bad Driving Day include making at least one bad driving decision every five minutes.  See someone on the road not making a bad driving decision?  Help them out by pulling in front of them without signaling!  It’ll really get them in the mood to celebrate Bad Driving Day properly!  Remember, you don’t want to get caught driving properly on Bad Driving Day.  So don’t drive safely, drive badly!