Ouch.

You might be wondering why I said ouch.  It's because I just ran into a wall.  I do that from time to time.  One moment everything's fine and dandy (heehee, dandy) and the next moment I'm reeling backwards wondering why my nose hurts so much.  And my forehead.  And my knee.  And my lungs.  (why do lungs hurt when you run into something?)  Technically the wall I keep running into is metaphorical, but it still hurts. 

Ouch.

What metaphorical wall, you ask?  (you were planning on asking, right?)  The metaphorical wall of 'I just don't feel like writing anymore.'  And let me tell you, when you're maybe 10 pages away from finishing a book that's taken you over a year to complete, the 'I just don't feel like writing anymore' metaphorical wall is incredibly frustrating.  It just sucks all your enthusiasm for a project away until all you can do is stare at a page and wish you were doing something more productive.  Like playing another round of spider solitaire. 

But you're so close!  I shriek at myself inwardly.  Why can't you just finish it?

Oh right.  The wall of metaphorical exhaustion.

I know that the best thing to do is just push through it, keep writing anything as long as I'm writing something.  But doing that depresses me.  I know what I'm writing is terrible and it makes me feel awful because I know it's just all going to get deleted as soon as a better rush of inspiration and energy comes along.  Talk about pointless.  So just pushing through the wall makes me feel like I'm fighting the Borg (Resistance is futile!) and I'm talking about the freaky new Borg that can inject you with nanites and it's all over in seconds.  Urgh.  'shudder.'

And the project really means a lot to me.  It's been my next big step as a writer and the only way it'll mean anything is if I finish it.  But when anything I write down on my lovely blank page immediately takes on the consistency and flavor of two day old congealed gravy, it's hard to keep pushing through. 

Thanks for listening.  I just needed to share that.  And when I finish, I promise you'll see what it is I've been working on.  That's the part I'm looking forward to.