Monday, August 20, 2012

I pledge myself to the Zombie Brotherhood, and solemnly swear not to eat a fellow member...

There is just one thing that puzzles me about Zombie movies.

'Only one thing?  How can that be?  Is it that you don't believe in Zombies?'

Nope.

'Is it that you don't think its possible for a disease to spread that quickly?'

Nope.

'Do you not believe that the undead would be hungry for flesh?'

Nope.

'Then what is it??'

Why don't Zombies eat each other?  Or themselves?  I mean, if we've gone through all the trouble of putting on our Suspenders of Disbelief and watching a Zombie movie why can't the plot at least be consistent inside its own world?  All right, we've got the undead walking around starving for human flesh (I've never seen them chasing dogs or cats, have you?  Or hanging out in supermarkets eating all the raw meat) so for some reason they've turned cannibalistic, but for another strange reason they won't eat each other?  Why?  It's like a walking buffet.

'Shuffle shuffle' 'groan' oh look, that guy next to me seems tasty 'munch munch' 'shuffle shuffle' 'groan'

Are they supposed to be like bears?  Bears won't eat dead things, they like their food fresh that they killed themselves.

So how come when someone is bitten or gnawed on a bit as soon as they Zombify all the other Zombies lose interest in them and move on to new targets?  It's almost instantaneous.  I don't think a bear would be that casual about his food.  'You're dead now?  Good, I get to eat more of you.'

Just once I'd live to see a Zombie movie that treats them more like sharks.  Someone's dead?  Eat them!  Oh wait, I'm dead.  Eat me!  I'm tasty, mmmm.  He's dead too!  Eat him too!  Mmm, tasty dead person.  Flesh! Eat more flesh!

The movie might be shorter then.  All the Zombies wouldn't get very far after they'd eaten each other to bits.

1 comment:

  1. I heard it has something to do with pheromones or just plain smell. I like to think the living smell like bacon to zombies. Mmmmm Bacon

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