So it's been a while since our regularly scheduled Monday Musing. I hope you haven't minded that Tabitha was taking up all the space.
On that remark, any thoughts? I know I've got to start my second round of edits to tighten it up some more, but after that I'll be starting to seriously consider sending it out into the publishing world. I know I have several options.
1. Typical: get an agent and have them shop the book around.
-Pros: the agent does all the marketing and things I hate to do and am really bad at. They get a real publisher to look at my book and possibly publish it.
-Cons: I have to pay the agent and the publisher a large amount of whatever I make off my book. So unless I sell thousands of copies, I make next to nothing.
2. I publish online all by myself.
-Pros: I don't have to spend very much to get it out into the world, and other people can buy it for cheap, which will lead to more people buying it.
-Cons: I have to do all the marketing myself. Brrgh.
3. I try to shop the book around to real publishers all by myself.
-Pros: not paying for an agent.
-Cons: real publishers don't read unsolicited manuscripts, and if a publisher picks me up (somehow) then I have to pay for an agent anyway.
So far option number 2 (do it all myself) is the likeliest one I'll pick. Because even though it might not work all that well, I won't lose any money by trying.
But if I were to try option 3 (look for a publisher myself) I'd likely send Tabitha overseas. I've got a hunch it might do slightly better over there, at least at first. Of course I could be horribly wrong. That's always possible.
It's just all so incredibly frustrating! I know it's a stereotype that artists are horrible at business and selling their art etc, but I seem to be falling straight into that--do not pass go, do not collect $200. (ooh, $200. Please?)
My sister gave me some wonderful advice about how to connect with other people online and really get into the blogging community so that I can self-promote. My sister is amazingly smart and good at that sort of thing.
I, on the other hand, wiggle and squirm and make faces and pout horribly whenever I'm told I have to interact with other living beings--ones I don't know, that is. Somehow it feels so much worse to bother someone I don't know at all, as opposed to bothering my friends and family relentlessly. (how many of you have actually finished reading my book? Hmm?? :) )
I feel like as soon as I say anything to promote myself, I'll sound like an arrogant self-obsessed moron.
I hate arrogant self-obsessed morons. I don't wanna be an arrogant self-obsessed moron!
'pout.'
Instead I now just sound like a whiny self-obsessed moron. Grr.
But when I think about shoving myself into other people's blogs just in the hope that someone will notice me and read my stuff, I get all panicky and I find myself breathing really fast and the only thing I can think to do is crank some music and play another 50 rounds of spider solitaire.
It's not the rejection I'm afraid of: I've been ready for my writing to be rejected since I was 12. (lots of people with bad taste out there, donchaknow. :) ) I'm okay with that part. You don't like what I write? Okay. Your opinion.
The thing I'm really afraid of is ruining someone else's day. No, really.
The smallest of actions can have the largest of impacts, and I'm afraid that my self-aggrandizing actions could have a seriously negative effect on someone, which leads to their having a bad morning, which leads to a bad day where they yell at their co-workers who all have a bad day who all go home and kick their dogs and are mean to their spouses and kids--etc etc etc, the cycle keeps going on. And it's all my fault.
Wow, I just reread that and I came to the conclusion that not only am I an arrogant self-obsessed moron, I'm giving myself way too much credit. I mean, it is possible that one of my actions could adversely effect someone which leads to a negative chain of events---but! That also precludes the idea that no one out there is able to shrug off a bad day and control their own emotional state of mind.
Oh, wait, I live in a very insecure society where no one is taught how to do things like that...drat it, I was feeling better for a moment--
No! I will not give in! As much as I might have the potential to ruin someone's life, I cannot take sole responsibility for it! It is not my fault if they have a bad day, and their actions are a result of their behavior: not mine.
Don't give yourself too much credit. Don't give yourself too much credit. The world is a wide and wondrous place. Don't give yourself too much credit. Don't give yourself too much credit.
This shall become my new mantra whenever I'm panicking about ruining people's lives because I made a slightly self-promoting comment somewhere. Maybe it'll work. :)
Thanks for listening. I'm sorry it was such a mess, but I really needed to work through that.
1. You're afraid you'll be a butterfly. You know, the kind that flaps its little light wings in one place, and causes a hurricane on the other side of the world.
ReplyDeleteBut people are way more complicated than the weather. And way more predictable. If they don't like what you wrote, it won't thereby spoil their entire day. Unless, of course, your story has become a best-selling wowza that everyone is talking about, and they have huge high crazy expectations, and it's not quite what they expected and so they are horribly disappointed and now inclined to mistrust the opinion of "everyone" from here on out... until the next talked about story comes, at which point they'll try again...
Just do it. Just tell people about Tabitha. She's worth knowing. Even if people don't understand. :-)