Separation Anxiety

~(singsong tone) She's being lazy, she's being lazy.
--I believe the correct term is uninspired.
~Lazy.
!Are we talking about something?!  What is it?!  I want to talk!
~Save us all.  It wants to talk.
--I believe you assigned Enthusiasm to the female gender.
~Who cares?  I can say anything I want.  It's not like She's going to do anything about it.  Lazy bum.  Do you know what she really wants to be doing right now?
--Her thoughts seem to incline towards watching Star Trek: Voyager.
~I told you so.  Lazy!
!Lazy!
~Thank you.
!Lazy!  Lazy!
~I already said thank you, you're not getting thanked twice.  I've already used up this year's quota.
!Lazy!  Lazy!  Lazy!
~Will you cut it out already?
!Lazy!  Lazy!
~When you say it that many times it doesn't even sound like anything, you're completely losing the point--
!Lazy!  Lazy!  It's fun to say!
>You do realize that this is the signal of the decline of life as we know it?  If She can't even be bothered to write her own posts about interesting--
~Ha!
>or uninteresting things, what's going to happen?  It can't be anything good.  She's probably deathly ill and too weak to write, or maybe she just doesn't care about life anymore and she's giving up on the whole shebang--
!Lazy!  Lazy!  Lazy!  Lazy!
~Or she's lazy.
>Oh no, it has to be something worse than that.  She's abandoning us, you see.  She's making us do her work for her and she'll go off and find better things to do than spend time with us and we'll be left here endlessly talking about nothing and nothing and nothing...
~You are far too depressing.  Get a life.
>But I can't!  None of us can.  Don't you understand?  We're completely dependent on her for everything.  Without her we're nothing!
!Nothing!
~Oh no.
!Nothing!
>Why does she keep saying that?
!Nothing!
>Tell her to stop, she's upsetting me.
~Everything upsets you.  Breathing upsets you.
>Breathing is upsetting!  What if it stops?  We'll all die!
!Die!  Nothing!  Die!
>Make her stop.
~Heh.  You ever try to get Enthusiasm to stop anything?
>Well maybe if you explained the state of my nerves--
~Seriously?  You think explaining will mean anything to her?  She's got a terminal case of goldfish syndrome.
--That is not a real syndrome.
~Shove off.
>Goldfish syndrome?
!Die!  Die!  Nothing!  Lazy!
~It would take far to long to explain.
--This is not a real syndrome.  How could it take a long time to explain?
~I'll cut it short for you by telling you the only thing you can do if someone has goldfish syndrome is either wait them out, or change the tune to something you like.
>I don't understand.
!Die!  Lazy!  Lazy!  Nothing!
~Step right this way for an astounding demonstration of skill and derring-do.
--It is impossible for us to step anywhere as we are merely--
~Hey Enthusiasm!
!Enthusiasm!  That's me!  Lazy!  Lazy!
~What do you think of spoons?
!Spoons?!  I like spoons!  Spoon!  Spoon!  Spoon!
>Aaarrghggghhh!  You made it worse!
~Heheheheh.